To incoming college students, from a burnout college student

April 28, 2024 | By Erin Victoria Agapito

Students at the University of the Philippines Baguio Library. (Facebook/UP Baguio Library)

College acceptance letters are just around the corner and whether you pass your dream university or not, you need to know one thing: whatever school you are in, you will experience failure.

I read the headline of a news article sent to our group chat: UPCAT results out now! My social media feed became filled with celebrations, congratulatory greetings, and some grieving over their lost chance of studying in a tuition-free college.

College admissions are always bittersweet. The process of filling up documents is draining. The exam questions are humbling. And the months of waiting for the results are excruciatingly long. In the end, you’d only get either a Congratulations or a Thank you.

And yet, the torture does not end there.

Once you enter the academic halls of your university, you’ll soon find out that you do not know anything. You do not know that you will be alone for the first couple of months, trying your hardest to search for a support system. You do not know that you will stay up late just to finish a class requirement and still get a failing grade. You do not know that the system you built in high school will crumble down, and you will be overwhelmed with the realization that you are capable of failing.

In college, the only thing you will know is settling for what you can.

Once the system you once relied on has failed you, you will cling to your mistakes until you realize that there is nothing left for you to blame. You will realize that the expectations you have for yourself are flawed. You will learn to settle for what you can do at the time… and that is totally fine.

We have been taught a variety of things— to read Beowulf, to solve rational functions, to memorize the periodic table. We are forced to know everything and those who do are rewarded with high grades. This leaves us thinking that excellence is only measured by productivity. The capitalist society made sure to groom us into something they can use to gain profit over.

We are taught so much, yet we know nothing at all. We become slaves to the system, burning the passion that makes us human.

The Philippines’ idea of education follows a neoliberal system wherein production of knowledge becomes a source of business. This is evident in the Kindergarten to Year 12 (K-12), a program launched more than a decade ago. The program promised to improve the quality of Filipino high school graduates through the addition of senior high school. In a study of the K-12 condition over the years conducted by Bukidnon State University, results showed that students felt it was a stretched curriculum where there was no time to enjoy learning. This system produces inefficiency, churning out students to meet “market standards” that will be used by the elites to exploit labor.

So, no, you are not at fault if you fail either a college entrance exam or an exam in college. You do not have control over the rotten system imposed on our education.

You, however, have the control to create your own system— one that is kind to you.

Let yourself ignore productivity. Watch that series you’ve been wanting to watch. Go to your hometown on a random Wednesday if you need it. Sleep. Let every mistake fall with all its weight. And after you do all that, you get back to doing what you can.

The world will not be fazed if you achieve perfection at the expense of burning yourself out.

Anyway, I would be hypocritical if I say I practice what I preach. Often, I open X to write to my 38 followers and tell them how college is draining me. I type how I’d give everything just so I can feel the passion others have. I type how I will sleep first because I don’t think I can write a feature article about burnout, while being a burnout myself.

But you are reading this now, so I guess I finished it anyway. And glad I did so I could be the first one to tell you: Welcome to college.